It is very important to have a non-pushy, relaxed atmosphere. "No" definitively means no, and is respected by everyone. Anyone who pursues a course of action after being told no will never attend another party. Nothing happens without the explicit consent of the people directly involved.

Our parties are not comparable to what you might have seen on a porn video. It is  NOT  the case that people arrive and immediately get physically involved. We start with happy hour, during which people arrive and socialize. Each person usually brings food to share with the other party goer's. Our parties are BYOB, although heavy alcohol consumption is strongly discouraged. We want our parties to be fun and exciting for everyone!

As the happy hour winds down, you might see a few of your new friends engaging in kissing, touching and undressing. It takes a while for everyone to get involved, as someone may be a little shy and/or a slow starter and/or new (which is okay, of course). Eventually, most of the people become involved one way or the other. 

The women determine the direction of the activities. Some like to include other women (plus men) in their play. Some prefer one-on-one with a man, and some like several men at once. That's why we have more men than women at the parties.